All In

Well, I finally get a chance to update my blog. I have been meaning to do this for a while, but so much has changed, and so quickly, that I haven’t had time to sit down to write.

On Sunday March 13th, I will be stepping out on a limb into a new season of life to which God has called me.

After I quit college and God had taken Kyler from me, He called me into a time of waiting. I honestly did not know where I was going or what God was calling me to. In fact, I was almost positive that God was calling me to a time of doing nothing but waiting silently before Him.

One Sunday, my pastor preached on Mark 8:34.

"And calling the crowd to him with his disciples, he said to them, "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.”

My pastor pointed out that carrying the cross represented shame. When the Romans put people to death on a cross, it was to shame that person, and they would leave the person on the cross to allow the birds to pick at their flesh and make an example out of them. Yet, God calls us as His children to deny ourselves, pick up our cross, and follow Him. Of course, we can not do this on our own, it takes God’s strength and grace, and our belief in Christ’s infinite worth.

A few days later, I was listening to a radio program that was talking about living a life that was fully abandoned to Christ. Christians can’t be fence sitters. We can be lukewarm. We are either hot or cold. In or out.

That was the last straw. I knew in my heart that I had been one of those fence sitters. I told God I was in…all in. He could have my life, my money, my job, my identity, my family, my friends, and even my dreams. Even if that meant I would have to tell everyone that I was sitting at home doing nothing but waiting on God. Honestly, that is what I thought I would be destined for, but I had made up my mind, I was going to follow God, wherever He led.

God had different plans. Two days later God began opening up opportunities I would have never dreamed would become open to me. Two weeks later I accepted an apprenticeship on an organic farm in Springfield, Missouri. Honestly, all of my life I have loved working the land. In the last five years that love grew, however, when I started college, I put it on hold. Instead of taking my dreams from me, it seems God is allowing one of my dreams to become a reality. Truly, I can hardly believe it.

I am not naïve; I know it is not going to always be easy. I know I am going to miss my family, but at the same time, I am looking forward to a time to focus on my best friend, Jesus. Also, I know the work will be hard, that there will be trying situations, but because the Lord has so clearly called me to this, I go forward with confidence.

For the first time in my life, I am living a life, fully abandoned to Christ, rather than the cares of the world. Life is definitely much less dull this way, yet at the same time, I have experienced an unbelievable amount of sweet peace and joy. I can’t wait to see where He takes me.

If you would like to keep up with my life on the farm, you are welcome to check out my other blog… organicfarmgirl89.blogspot.com.